Wednesday, 26 November 2008

1st Round

I've managed to bullshit my way to over 2000 words in one essay and more than 3000 in another, through unknown & hostile postmodernist territory. I've mastered the technique of using 200 words to say what could be conveyed in 20, and repeating the same idea in different words till exhausting all possible synonyms. I've extended, inserted, lengthened, dilated, broadened, widened, swollen the text, injected its flesh with rapid-growth hormones and water.

I have earned my Black Belt 3rd Dan in the martial art of bullshitting.

I have also earned my freedom. Now the future lies ahead of me like a naked virgin's warm lascivious body, like a newly opened all-u-can-eat candy store, like a theme park glittering in the sun. What next? Where to go? What to do? Seemingly endless possibilities swarm my eager disposition, leaving me adrift in a hazy rotating kaleidoscope of desires.

The bell's ringing the end of the 1st round, and I'm still on my feet. Now for some time off before tackling the 2nd one.


euge said...

Lascivious...virgins?! The future you're talking (=writing) about sounds (ahem) pretty...vicious!

Yiyi said...

Yes, it sounds pretty sexy. I know what you have trough, remember my time studyng for the conquest of my new job? Although there are some differences, I did it for 8 months in a row, and I will have to do it again in less than two years.

Well, these things prepare you to work hard in something you don't like, this way you enjoy more anything you like.
Plus, when you finish it's like a rebirth, the colours come back to that grey life.

Enjoy this coming time ! (se puée desir asín?)

Yiyi said...

Hey dude!

How can I do to receive an email each time you post? I am already a follower (of the Sith)

Cristina said...

How can I get a course on bullshitting?
I need it soooo badly now!!
Ahora que estás en racha, te compro un essay de cinco páginas sobre Othello para el martes, te doy lo que sea.

MasterMan said...

euge: mMMMmmMMm... lascivious future...

yiyi: interesting philosophy, I'll think about it over a few litres of beer. I don't know about email updates. I know about aggregators, and that's what I use. Check out Google Reader first if you want to walk that path.

Cris: easy, read the "classics", learn from them. Like, anything on "postmodernism" will do nicely. As for what to say, Sparknotes always gives nice ideas. ¡Ánimo! Pero sobre todo, ¡mucha mierda! (de toro o caballo en lo posible)